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== Scratch Pad ==
= Comprehensive Editing Pass Checklist =


navy will perform air cavalry and troop transport role with gunships. I need to flesh out the marine recon role.
== 1. Developmental / Substantive Editing ==
Big-picture work. Focus on whether the story works as a whole before polishing language.


Increase the length of the prologue, to have more fleeing, near death experiences, etc.,
=== Structure & Plot ===
<br>
* Check overall plot structure (beginning, middle, end; rising action, climax, resolution).
Here is a list of [[:Category:Characters|characters]]
* Evaluate pacing of the story as a whole (too slow? too rushed? sagging middle?).
* Ensure major plot points land with proper setup and payoff.
* Look for plot holes, unresolved threads, or logic gaps.
* Confirm cause-and-effect chain of events feels natural.


Here is a list of [[:Category:Terran Warship|warships]]
=== Characters ===
* Verify character arcs feel complete and earned.
* Check consistency of character personality, voice, goals, and motivations.
* Ensure characters change (or deliberately don’t) in believable ways.
* Watch for characters acting out of character without good reason.


Here are the [[Races and Professions|Races and Professions]].
=== Scenes & Grounding ===
* Make sure every scene has a clear purpose (advances plot, develops character, or deepens theme).
* '''Ground dialogue''' — Avoid “dialogues in a vacuum.” For every conversation, check that “what’s going on around them” is present: action beats, body language, setting details, sensory information, and what characters are doing while they talk.
* Ensure scenes feel fully rendered and immersive rather than floating heads talking.
* Check transitions between scenes for smoothness.


http://robertplewis.com/index.php/Category:Naval_Weapons
=== Themes ===
* Confirm core themes (friendship, duty, perseverance, etc.) are actually present and woven through the story.
* Look for opportunities to strengthen thematic resonance through character choices, conflicts, symbols, or plot events.
* Ensure themes emerge organically rather than being stated too bluntly.


*need a page to promote artists.
=== Point of View & Perspective ===
* Check POV consistency (no head-hopping unless intentional).
* Ensure the chosen POV serves the story and character.
* Verify the narrative distance feels appropriate.


http://robertplewis.com/index.php/System_Titles
=== World & Continuity ===
* Check internal consistency of world-building, rules, timelines, and details.
* Flag any contradictions in setting, magic/technology systems, or established facts.


== 2. Line Editing ==
Sentence- and paragraph-level work. Focus on how the writing reads and feels.


* Improve flow and rhythm of sentences and paragraphs.
* Strengthen word choice (replace weak, vague, or repetitive words).
* Tighten prose — cut unnecessary words, filler, and redundancy.
* Enhance clarity and precision of meaning.
* Preserve and strengthen the author’s voice and tone.
* Smooth awkward phrasing or clunky constructions.
* Adjust sentence variety and length for better pacing within scenes.
* Ensure emotional beats and subtext land effectively.
* Balance dialogue with narrative and description so neither overwhelms the other.
* Check that descriptions and action feel vivid without overwriting.


=Outline=
== 3. Copy Editing ==
This outline combines [[Gail Carriger]]'s '''Heroine's Journey''' model (from ''The Heroine's Journey: For Writers, Readers, and Fans of Pop Culture'', 2020) with classic 3-act structure.
Technical correctness and consistency. Focus on rules and polish.


Carriger's model emphasizes '''connection''', '''networks''', '''delegation''', '''compromise''', and '''community restoration'''. The protagonist builds or rebuilds alliances to achieve shared victory. Success benefits the group; individual revenge or glory is irrelevant.
* Correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
* Fix syntax issues and unclear sentence structures.
* Ensure consistency of names, terms, capitalization, hyphenation, and spelling (create/update a style sheet).
* Apply a chosen style guide (e.g., Chicago Manual of Style).
* Check for consistency in numbers, dates, measurements, and formatting.
* Light fact-checking of real-world details, timelines, and continuity.
* Verify dialogue punctuation and attribution are correct and consistent.
* Flag remaining continuity or logic issues that slipped through earlier passes.


Phases: '''Descent''' (broken network), '''Search''' (gathering allies, risk, rebuilding), '''Ascent''' (negotiated success, new network).
== 4. Proofreading ==
Final surface-level check after all revisions are complete.


The model is not gender-specific and works across genres — it prioritizes relational growth over solo heroism.
* Catch remaining typos, misspellings, and missing/extra words.
* Check for repeated or missing punctuation.
* Verify formatting (paragraph breaks, scene breaks, italics, etc.).
* Look for layout issues if the text is already typeset (widows, orphans, bad breaks).
* Do a final read-aloud pass for anything that still sounds off.


== Act 1 – Setup / Descent (≈ 0–25%) ==
== Scratch Pad ==
Ordinary World → Inciting Incident → Plot Point 1 (Forced withdrawal into isolation/risk)


Focus: The protagonist's original network (family, team, society, found family) breaks or fails. Attempts to repair or appeal within the system are ignored or powerless, leading to involuntary separation, danger, and isolation.
*Additional
**flat additions to the base value
**sum with each other
*Percent Increased/Reduced the base value
**Percent change
*Percent More/Less the modified value
**Applied after increased/reduced


*Earth suffers an apocalypse.
*Conor, Katy, Kaylee, and McKenna flee for a few weeks, but are eventually killed by the invaders.


=== Descent Phase – Broken Network & Abdication ===
#Sum all Added and Base values -> 10
# '''Familial/Social Network Breaks''' 
#Sum all Increased into one multiplier -> 1.45
  Core community shatters (betrayal, loss, crisis, misunderstanding, external force). The protagonist senses a better possibility but feels trapped in dysfunction.
#Multiply Added/Base total x Increased multiplier ->10x1.45=14.5
#Multiply by each More separately -> 14.5 x 1.05 x 1.3 x 1.1 = 21.77
#Multiply by Amplified separately


# '''Pleas Ignored, Power Abdicated''' 
  Attempts to appeal, negotiate, or fix within the system fail. The protagonist is dismissed, overruled, or forced to relinquish control. Involuntary withdrawal follows.


'''Plot Point 1 (End of Act 1):''' 
===Naval Combat===
The protagonist is isolated and at risk. They must venture into the unknown (alone or with minimal support). No easy return to the old network.
*Long Range (up to 250,000 km) -- lasers + railguns
*Missile Range (up to 1,000,000 km)
*Close range (under 20,000 km) --ion beams


== Act 2 – Confrontation / Search (≈ 25–75%) ==
    *ion beams are short range, but cause massive internal thermal and radiation effects.
Rising action, gathering allies, trials → Midpoint shift → Dark Night low


Focus: The protagonist searches for solutions, disguises vulnerabilities if necessary, and builds a new network or found family. Isolation and danger test the ability to connect, delegate, collaborate, and compromise rather than conquer alone.


=== Search Phase – Isolation, Risk, Rebuilding Attempts ===
===Marine Hierarchy===
# '''Isolation, Danger, Risk''' 
*Fire Team
  Alone or nearly so, the protagonist faces threats (physical, emotional, societal) and navigates underworld-like challenges.
*Squad
*Platoon
*Company
*Battalion
*Regiment
*Brigade (1st Sylvan Marines)
*Division


# '''Search & Disguise/Subversion''' 
  The protagonist seeks answers, information, or help, often in disguise or by subverting expectations. They begin gathering allies who recognize their value.


# '''Attempt to Rebuild Community''' 
  The protagonist delegates tasks, prods allies forward, and negotiates compromises. Shared goals emerge; the new network strengthens but remains fragile.


'''Plot Point 2 / Dark Night (End of Act 2):''' 
Lowest point. The new network falters, old wounds reopen, or a major compromise appears impossible. The protagonist faces the threat of total isolation or collective failure.


== Act 3 – Resolution / Ascent (≈ 75–100%) ==
Climax → Negotiated Victory → New Equilibrium


Focus: The protagonist rises through collective effort. Success is achieved via negotiation and compromise that benefits all parties. A new or reborn network forms — stronger, more equitable, and inclusive. Victory is shared; there is no solo glory.
navy will perform air cavalry and troop transport role with gunships. I need to flesh out the marine recon role.


=== Ascent Phase – Success, Negotiation, New Network ===
Increase the length of the prologue, to have more fleeing, near death experiences, etc.,
# '''Success in the Search''' 
  Through the combined strengths of allies, the protagonist achieves the goal (restoring balance, healing rifts, creating something better).


# '''Negotiations & Compromises That Benefit All''' 
Add the character artwork as commissions prior to a design change for the uniforms. They'll serve as bonus artwork on the special edition hardcovers.
  Final deals bridge divides. The focus is on mutual gain and harmony rather than revenge or personal glory.
<br>
Here is a list of [[:Category:Characters|characters]]


# '''New Network Re-Established (Altered Form)''' 
Here is a list of [[:Category:Terran Warship|warships]]
  The community is reborn — stronger, more equitable, and deeply connected. The protagonist has integrated the lessons of connection.


'''Final Image / Return:''' 
Here are the [[Species and Professions|Species and Professions]].
The protagonist exists within a renewed, thriving network, viewing the world through the lens of connection. Peace is achieved through unity, not domination.


== Quick 3-Act Beat Summary ==
http://robertplewis.com/index.php/Category:Naval_Weapons
{| class="wikitable" style="width:100%;"
! Act !! Key Beat
|-
| Act 1 || Hook
|-
| Act 1 || Inciting Incident (Network Break)
|-
| Act 1 || End Act 1 (Isolation Begins)
|-
| Act 2 || Midpoint (Network Building Shifts)
|-
| Act 2 || End Act 2 (Dark Night of Network Threat)
|-
| Act 3 || Climax (Collective Victory)
|-
| Act 3 || Resolution (New Network)
|}


== Tips ==
http://robertplewis.com/index.php/System_Titles
* Carriger stresses this model is not gender-specific (examples: Harry Potter builds networks to defeat Voldemort; Barbie rebuilds connections in her world).
* Contrast with the traditional Hero's Journey: isolated protagonist defeats evil alone for personal glory vs. networked protagonist who prods allies toward shared victory.
* Common examples: ''Barbie'' (2023), ''Everything Everywhere All at Once'', ensemble/redemption arcs (e.g., Zuko in ''Avatar: The Last Airbender'').
* Phases may overlap; internal growth can be added, but the core emphasis is external connection over individual conquest.

Latest revision as of 20:51, 6 August 2026

Comprehensive Editing Pass Checklist

1. Developmental / Substantive Editing

Big-picture work. Focus on whether the story works as a whole before polishing language.

Structure & Plot

  • Check overall plot structure (beginning, middle, end; rising action, climax, resolution).
  • Evaluate pacing of the story as a whole (too slow? too rushed? sagging middle?).
  • Ensure major plot points land with proper setup and payoff.
  • Look for plot holes, unresolved threads, or logic gaps.
  • Confirm cause-and-effect chain of events feels natural.

Characters

  • Verify character arcs feel complete and earned.
  • Check consistency of character personality, voice, goals, and motivations.
  • Ensure characters change (or deliberately don’t) in believable ways.
  • Watch for characters acting out of character without good reason.

Scenes & Grounding

  • Make sure every scene has a clear purpose (advances plot, develops character, or deepens theme).
  • Ground dialogue — Avoid “dialogues in a vacuum.” For every conversation, check that “what’s going on around them” is present: action beats, body language, setting details, sensory information, and what characters are doing while they talk.
  • Ensure scenes feel fully rendered and immersive rather than floating heads talking.
  • Check transitions between scenes for smoothness.

Themes

  • Confirm core themes (friendship, duty, perseverance, etc.) are actually present and woven through the story.
  • Look for opportunities to strengthen thematic resonance through character choices, conflicts, symbols, or plot events.
  • Ensure themes emerge organically rather than being stated too bluntly.

Point of View & Perspective

  • Check POV consistency (no head-hopping unless intentional).
  • Ensure the chosen POV serves the story and character.
  • Verify the narrative distance feels appropriate.

World & Continuity

  • Check internal consistency of world-building, rules, timelines, and details.
  • Flag any contradictions in setting, magic/technology systems, or established facts.

2. Line Editing

Sentence- and paragraph-level work. Focus on how the writing reads and feels.

  • Improve flow and rhythm of sentences and paragraphs.
  • Strengthen word choice (replace weak, vague, or repetitive words).
  • Tighten prose — cut unnecessary words, filler, and redundancy.
  • Enhance clarity and precision of meaning.
  • Preserve and strengthen the author’s voice and tone.
  • Smooth awkward phrasing or clunky constructions.
  • Adjust sentence variety and length for better pacing within scenes.
  • Ensure emotional beats and subtext land effectively.
  • Balance dialogue with narrative and description so neither overwhelms the other.
  • Check that descriptions and action feel vivid without overwriting.

3. Copy Editing

Technical correctness and consistency. Focus on rules and polish.

  • Correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
  • Fix syntax issues and unclear sentence structures.
  • Ensure consistency of names, terms, capitalization, hyphenation, and spelling (create/update a style sheet).
  • Apply a chosen style guide (e.g., Chicago Manual of Style).
  • Check for consistency in numbers, dates, measurements, and formatting.
  • Light fact-checking of real-world details, timelines, and continuity.
  • Verify dialogue punctuation and attribution are correct and consistent.
  • Flag remaining continuity or logic issues that slipped through earlier passes.

4. Proofreading

Final surface-level check after all revisions are complete.

  • Catch remaining typos, misspellings, and missing/extra words.
  • Check for repeated or missing punctuation.
  • Verify formatting (paragraph breaks, scene breaks, italics, etc.).
  • Look for layout issues if the text is already typeset (widows, orphans, bad breaks).
  • Do a final read-aloud pass for anything that still sounds off.

Scratch Pad

  • Additional
    • flat additions to the base value
    • sum with each other
  • Percent Increased/Reduced the base value
    • Percent change
  • Percent More/Less the modified value
    • Applied after increased/reduced


  1. Sum all Added and Base values -> 10
  2. Sum all Increased into one multiplier -> 1.45
  3. Multiply Added/Base total x Increased multiplier ->10x1.45=14.5
  4. Multiply by each More separately -> 14.5 x 1.05 x 1.3 x 1.1 = 21.77
  5. Multiply by Amplified separately


Naval Combat

  • Long Range (up to 250,000 km) -- lasers + railguns
  • Missile Range (up to 1,000,000 km)
  • Close range (under 20,000 km) --ion beams
    *ion beams are short range, but cause massive internal thermal and radiation effects.


Marine Hierarchy

  • Fire Team
  • Squad
  • Platoon
  • Company
  • Battalion
  • Regiment
  • Brigade (1st Sylvan Marines)
  • Division



navy will perform air cavalry and troop transport role with gunships. I need to flesh out the marine recon role.

Increase the length of the prologue, to have more fleeing, near death experiences, etc.,

Add the character artwork as commissions prior to a design change for the uniforms. They'll serve as bonus artwork on the special edition hardcovers.
Here is a list of characters

Here is a list of warships

Here are the Species and Professions.

http://robertplewis.com/index.php/Category:Naval_Weapons

http://robertplewis.com/index.php/System_Titles